Sex, Rape and Harassment

#metoo is one of the most popular hashtags this year for good reasons. The prevalence of sexual harassment across multiple industries is tragic and unacceptable and the current publicity on the topic barely scratches the surface. However, like everything in Freakonomics points out, people respond to incentives, which means there must be something about our society that cultivates and rewards that kind of behaviour.

So besides the fact that these women have been silent about all these happenings for such a long time that most of these wrong-doers can get away with it and to make matters worse our society endorses victim-shaming and “she was asking for it” mentality to those who speak up, what other permissible actions in our society lead to this jaded view of women?

For instance, what is the effect of pornography, of strip clubs, heck of even one-night-stands and bounty calls on our image of women or more broadly, the opposite sex as this problem does not only exist for the men; we have increased cases of child molestation, sexual slaves etcetera with both men and women being the perpetrators.

Like I said on my home page, I will tell you of my own story, so while I am proud of the fact that I have not sexual harassed any woman at my office or anywhere else, I have still attended the occasional bachelor party or wild night at a strip club and I am sadly no longer a virgin even though I am still single. What do these actions, consciously or unconsciously, say about my views about women? Do I feel that in some situations, it is alright to view women based solely on sexual appeal? I must confess that yes that sometimes that has been my view of women, as sex objects, however, my God forgives and He provokes you to think about these issues; how can you see the sacredness of sex if you can pay to watch people do almost anything to each other and pay more to participate?

So now I say no to all of it. I pray for the virtue of chastity to deny myself to all of it. Avoid sexual promiscuous situations and subtle arousal, be they from, people, places, music videos, books etc. I view women in their totality; their bodies, their minds, their souls, their interests, aspirations, beliefs, goals etc. I look for a connection beyond the physical in my interactions with the opposite sex because the fullness of intercourse is to be in the sanctity of marriage and so I need not worry about it, at all, until I am ready to marry.

It is a struggle and I get tempted constantly and fall short occasionally but what is the alternative, view women as a piece of meat for conquest after conquest- for God’s sake I have sisters and cousins.

Therefore, I feel that unless society de-sexualizes women and all aspects of society, from buying a car to using deodorant, we will continuously have people who learn the wrong things about sex and what is sexually permissible behaviour.

– God bless

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